Thinking you're going to find an FB or Google+ page of the teacher I'm about to lambast would be like hoping for the US crisis to end tomorrow. It just not gonna happen. For one thing, that teacher is so old a social networking profile is laughable. For another, if she'd managed to create one, she would have been SO popular I wouldn't dare to create this post in the fear of an angry mob hating me and my poor blog. After all, who wouldn't love a teacher SO nurturing, compassionate, and dedicated, like she was?
Yes, I was being sarcastic.
You people have no idea how difficult it is to be an ugly middle child with zero talent in Math and English. I used to repent for my sins in the hopes that tomorrow Algebra and I become best friends. English wasn't interested in me either, and so do I. I mean who would take an interest in it when lessons were presented like a formula in Algebra that I'm supposed to solve (but cannot): S - V - DO - OC
For people who are in the position to influence the young minds entrusted to them by parents and the government: Don't pass on your bitterness to the next generation!
It was the day I prepared for the most. I was willing to give Math another chance to draw me in after a disastrous year. Integers who? The teacher came in and I felt all of mankind was extincted. Not because of the extra fat hanging by her chin, the teacher just gave me that aura my previous Math teachers have had! I think you'll agree with me when I say most of them don't really like the word patience.
Instead of focusing to those who are struggling to keep up with the class, my Math teacher entertained those students who are outstanding already in their own wizardry right. And to make matters worse, the class has 35 students. What a very conducive atmosphere for learning, ei? So whatever confusion you've got in mind about the class, you get to keep it to yourself. And there goes another lesson not understood. Another quiz score of ZERO. I could almost see Doom waving its hands when I looked outside the window. It was hopeless.
So why did this particular Math teacher matter?
The words that came from her uneven lips came to me like a news of a family member being rushed to the hospital while I'm having Starbucks on a pay day. It was so devastating and ridiculous I couldn't tell which emotion won the space in my heart and mind. Not gonna transcribe it verbatim, but to put it bluntly, she thought I could never succeed in life because I'm not good in Math.
15 years later, and she was right. She was damn right. I'm not successful. Not in her math-centric expectations though. While I'm not going to brag my 6 digit monthly premium and recently bought Mini Cooper...
Going back to reality, while I didn't reach the pinnacle of financial stability yet or have become popular (the commoner's definition of being successful, so effin' high school, I know), the only success I could be proud of was the thought I've turned, brilliantly, the Mathlessness into something more potent to be equally successful and happy in this life: creativity.
Years of soul searching and hard work in acquiring all the necessary tools for someone of my Math-caliber to grow and survive college have resulted to a person very different post Math bashing. English and I sort of patched-up our differences and worked through the years honing me to become the person/blogger I was today. Not perfect but complete.
I could be whatever I want now. The possibilities are infinite. I've never felt so alive by just expressing my self without compromising monetary benefits and social approval. In short, I've never been so happy and so fulfilled.
A few advises
For people like me:
Blame yourself once. Just once. After that find ways to compensate for the Math deficiency; dream, read, test theories, commit, never give up but don't be stupid.
For people like my Math teacher:
You're so unfair.
For people who have no problems with Math:
Consider yourself very lucky. You have no idea how gifted you are.