5 Painstaking Ways to Make New Friends

Friends are curious little beasties.

For one thing, they know more about you more than your family does. For another, the best experiences are often spent with them.

Who were with you when you lit your first cigarette, stole your first candy or watched your first porn? Those were the good old days, though.

As soon as the gas ran its course (usually in your mid-20s), you realize the only thing you could depend on is your family, no matter how ‘rocky’ your relationship is, with some of them.

You may be enjoying the life you’re living now, but it would be lackluster without friends. Here are five painstaking ways to make new ones:

Be interesting
Nobody wants to be friends with someone boring.

‘Boring’ should not to be mistaken with tepidness.

People who are boring are those who agree with everything other people say to them, existing solely to become a side kick.

Imagine being with someone like that. What is the first word that comes to mind?

Be interesting! The easiest way to be one is by playing to your strength.

List five things you think you’re very good at, make some noise about them in social media and consistently improve your presentation.

Your new friends will visit them, and there you will be judged.

Don’t overwhelm
New friendships are tricky, and the only way to maintain them is to take the slow train home.

Don’t get too excited when you discover you share the same passion over yoga, this NBA team or the love for the outdoors and hairy tarantulas.

Always wait for the other person to divulge first.

Listen, and because your insides are squirming with genuine overflowing interest, it’s crucial not to match the other persons energy. Not yet, though.

You want to share your fascination with that hairy tarantula in a calm calculated exuberance when it’s your turn.

This is not you trying to be someone you’re not, this is you giving that friend his/her time to shine. And in return, yourself.

Influence but never enforce
It doesn’t mean if they like indie records you’ll flood their newsfeed with YouTube links now.

Remember you’ve befriended these people because they ignite an aura of independence and strength that you’re secretly attracted to.

People with aura of independence and strength don’t like to be spoon-fed. And it would put you in a very ‘needy’ situation.

The more you’re obsessed to provide, the stronger the validation seeking.

Post that indie record in your own timeline. If they ‘Like’ it, great. If they don’t, delete it after two hours. Trying is everything.

Have something different and similar at the same time
I used to have this friend, who dismissed physical fighting as pointless; I was doing wushu at that time.

He’s so immersed with air soft, which I also dismissed as a lazy man’s way of protecting himself. We sparred occasionally in friendly conversation why the other sport is pointless.

Interestingly, it made our bond stronger, because in spite of the difference in practice, we’re practically interested in ‘fighting.’

These contrasting opinions make friendships exciting, resulting to earning each other’s respect; for not bending to the other’s pleasing, for staying true to oneself.

Give space
Everyone needs a break from the world (and that includes you) sometimes.

To give you a hint they needed a break, look at their posts. For instance, partying all night or dealing with relatives during a family gathering are universally tiresome.

The last thing they need is your badgering them with questions and updates, when clearly they’ve just posted it online.

Unless they open up first, only then you can be the update maniac all you want.

The best thing about starting anew with making friends is having the maturity you’ve developed through the years. Also, you’re now into quality, not quantity.

On the other hand, you need to be genuine because people can tell when you’re faking ‘it.’ And there goes your time and effort wasted.
Give it your best shot. Add people today!