After a Breakup, Remember These

Breakups are one of the most painful, and at the same time, liberating experiences you’ll have to obligatorily go through in this life.

Liberating, because you won’t be the same person after your fragile little blood-pumping organ has been broken into bite-sized pieces.

Suddenly, you’ll despise lovers in the mall. And everyone.

So, what do you do after a breakup? Whether you’re ready or not, to move on is the only ‘other’ way.

Here are four suggestions:

Talk to your friends
Instead of giving them the I-don’t-wanna-talk-about-it-so-and-leave-me-alone attitude, entrust the scoop to your most trusted friends and feel the weight taking off.

Tell them how much you’re hurt and what went wrong, but never sell out the other person to somehow justify the breakup or to play the victim card.

Remember that you’ve been with this person, and highlighting his/her bad side is gonna add insult to the injury. 

Also, your friends can’t really do anything about it.

There are a few exemptions. For instance, if that person is really really bad, it’s good to warn your friends about the monster.

Have some time alone

After letting it all out with your friends, you’ll realize they’ve somehow educated you to look beyond yourself and your I’m-such-a-disappointment belief.

Take a trip to the beach, to the park, go to the church. Anywhere you can think peacefully or if there are any tears left, cry, because it’s alright. And don’t bring your phone full of Spotify love songs.

A meditation before and after sleep is a very very good idea, too.

Sometimes it’s about taking all the noises out of your head so you can focus on the stuff that really matters. In this case, healing and finding oneself after a period of ‘partnership.’

Keep yourself busy
An idle mind is the devil’s playroom. A broken heart, his dinner. Don’t feed him, for he’ll consume it without giving a tip.

But then, a broken heart is never to be whole again. Time just covers it with scars. Scars act as a patch, not a fix.

Keeping yourself busy speeds up time. More time equals more scars. More scars equals faster healing.

Be humble
Sometimes it takes a painful beating of flour and butter to make you appreciate that humble pie.

After surviving my own breakup, I feel like I’ve connected with the world in a humbler and more patient way.

I used to look down on other people’s effort to make their respective relationships work.

Flowers and chocolates brought me cringing akin to watching Twilight, while sending messages regularly, to let both parties be informed of what they had for dinner, spells W-E-I-R-D to me.

I know now that these simple things contribute big time.
I knew too late.