Wear a Rashguard

Boys, too, get insecure of their body. While it’s totally OK for them to be fat and obnoxious in high school, fat girls get crucified like it’s the Holocaust.

In the adult world, the playing field gets even with the ever growing emphasis on fitness, health and looks.

With various studies publishing their findings about how good looks usually get all the press, it would be delusional to ignore the signs and still up-size that Coke Float.

When my body began changing at the start of the tween era, I avoided beach outings because of my saggy pillow belly and arms and legs. It took me years to get into shape and to be finally beach-ready.

Everything was going smoothly until a new threat was realized: the sun hates me. I get sunburns faster than McDonald’s serve its burgers. Also, applying sunblock every 20 minutes is dreadful.

The solution, after all this time, was wearing a rashguard. Here’s some enlightenment for you:

Wearing a rashguard protects you from the sun
The relief was amazing. For the first time, I actually enjoyed putting on SPFs on my face. The rest was well protected from neck to knee.

The rashguard felt like a second skin. Shiny and surprisingly cool.

Also, it dries quickly whenever I get out of the water to refuel or flirt around. No more constant abuse of the towel or change of clothes.

Those hassles are a thing of the past.

Wearing a rashguard makes you look good
In fact, I already got several 1-night-stand invites after I posted pictures of my wearing a rash guard and ruling the sea like a Soviet submarine.

Kidding aside, rash guards will make you look leaner, taller and meatier. Like a miracle, my flabs looked hard as rocks. I was faking a rigorous bicep session without having to lift a single thing.

Before you rush to Google to order yours, be careful with choosing the rashguard that will change your destiny.

If you’re fair, choose black, red and orange. If you’re dark, white, blue and yellow would look kickass on you. 

For people above the standard height/weight scale, black is the safest. Avoid gray at all cost, unless you want to look like a baby Rhino.

Wearing a rashguard protects you from the sea
The water brims with tiny marine life, which are always on the constant pursuit of protecting themselves from the bullies.

While wearing a rashguard won’t be of any help in the presence of a Great White Shark or a Portugese Man-of-War, it will certainly help protect you from jelly fishes and other tiny stingers.

I used to nurse jelly stings back in elementary by rubbing sand in the affected area or with a pint of toothpaste (the menthol acts as a cooling agent).

Discovering rashguards now, I’m sure the damage to my childhood memories could’ve been lessen, if I got introduced to them earlier.

Wearing a rashguard makes you happier
Lookin like a pro surfer in that rashguard of yours brings this confidence you never knew existed. When there is confidence, there will be less inhibitions. When there’s less inhibition, you get to share a personality devoid of self-doubt.

That joke you were dying to share, but couldn’t muster the courage to bring it would be a total KO. That b*tch you've been trying to ensnare for a private talk? It would be a breeze.

Remember, though, these should be in a beach set-up.

With no worries of sun burns, stingy jelly creatures, and constant SPF application, I was the happiest, hopping one island after another.

Ironically, with the cover and convenience of wearing a rashguard realized, the pursuit of a Jason Statham body only heightened. I was ready to binge eat and visit a buffet resto, thinking I now have the way to hide the flabs, without drawing attention (like wearin a t-shirt in the beach).

But then an image came to me, so powerful that an apparition of Homer Simpson seems to be happening before my very dreary eyes: I kinda look kickass in that rashguard in my present body.
Imagine if you have your dream body in that rashguard.